I spent Monday sewing with my mom. It was a lovely, non-stressful experience. She has the patience of a saint. She explained each step in the process of our Haiti project, and I followed her instructions. In the end I had this lovely tote.
I spent Tuesday sewing by myself. It was an unlovely, stress-filled day. I have the patience of a three-year-old. I had to read the instructions by myself, and there was no one there to stop me when I was about to royally screw it up.
I cut one piece the wrong size, but didn’t realize it until I was almost ready to complete the bag. I couldn’t figure out the stupid zipper. When I do zippers with mom I’m like “Okay, I’ve got it. No problem.” When I do them by myself I’m like, “What the heck am I doing wrong?'” Who needs zippers anyway?
I wanted to throw my scissors across the room, and I about tossed the half-finished tote in the fireplace and roasted some marshmallows over it. I will not even tell you how many hours it took to complete because it’s far too embarrassing.
But in the end, I did complete it. And it’s pretty cute as long as you don’t look too close. There is even a completed (albeit very ugly looking) zipper pocket on the inside.
By the end of Tuesday, I was wondering what in the world I had gotten myself into. I think I could probably go teach some writing classes, but sewing??? How am I supposed to teach a craft in which my skill level hovers at the lower end of mediocrity?
But you know what I think God is going to do with this? I think he is going to show me just how much this is not about me. It is about obedience to him. I will work hard over the next two weeks to be able to sew a zipper with the best of them, but I will also trust that even if I am not a fantastic seamstress, he can and will use me. Because that’s what he does. He says,
“Hey girl. I’ve got this crazy task for you. And I know you think you can’t do it, and that’s okay. Because when I ask you to do something. I equip you to do it. I’ve got your back.”
The God of the universe has got my back. Why is that so easy to forget?